Criticism, according to Carnegie, is not only futile but also dangerous. It places individuals on the defensive, compelling them to justify themselves and stirring resentment. This dangerous cycle, filled with wounded pride and hurt feelings, can lead to disputes and wasted time. When someone faces criticism, their natural response is often justification, even if they know they might be wrong. This knee-jerk reaction results in a significant waste of time and energy.

Reflecting on personal experiences, Carnegie highlights the tendency to resent those who criticize, emphasizing the natural inclination to defend oneself. Criticisms, like homing pigeons, inevitably come back, manifesting as resentment and condemnation. Carnegie urges a shift in approach, advocating for understanding and forgiveness instead of condemnation. Instead of criticizing, he suggests trying to comprehend others, seeking to understand their perspective and reasons behind their actions. This empathetic approach fosters sympathy, tolerance, and kindness, steering away from resentment and justification.

In contrast, Carnegie acknowledges that criticizing, condemning, and complaining are easy routes, while understanding and forgiving demand self-control and character. Encouraging this shift in mindset, he emphasizes the positive outcomes of choosing understanding over criticism, fostering harmonious relationships and personal growth.