The most effective way to connect with someone is to talk about the things they value most. Redirecting the conversation to the other person’s interests fosters a positive connection and mutual benefit. For instance, if you and someone strongly disagree on a topic, like Janine’s stance against the military, shifting the discussion to a shared interest, such as mountains, creates a more enjoyable and harmonious conversation. Connecting on common ground builds rapport and friendship. This strategy is crucial when seeking something from someone. By engaging in a conversation about their interests first, you improve their mood and increase the likelihood of a positive response to your request. Theodore Roosevelt employed a similar approach, researching his visitors’ interests to guide the conversation. This technique is analogous to choosing the right moment to share news, akin to waiting until a person is in a positive mood to discuss a broken coffee mug with your mother. Applying this principle, aim to steer conversations toward topics that genuinely interest the other person, making interactions more vibrant and pleasurable.