To effectively influence others, it’s crucial to shift our focus from what we want to what they want. Convincing someone involves highlighting the benefits for them, answering the question, “What’s in it for me?” People are inherently self-interested, and appealing to their self-interest is the key to persuasion. Understanding this basic human nature, we must learn to see things from their perspective and convince them that it’s in their best interest.

Take, for example, persuading kids to eat broccoli. Instead of emphasizing its health benefits, which they may not care about, we can paint a picture of how eating broccoli will make them tall, strong, and admired by their peers. The key is finding reasons that align with the other person’s desires and demonstrating how they stand to benefit.

Whether selling a book or convincing someone to take a certain action, the approach remains the same. Instead of saying, “I wrote this awesome book. Do you want to buy it?” we should articulate the potential gains for the other person. For instance, by saying, “This book will show you how to make more money, buy your dream house, and achieve your goals,” we create a compelling case that arouses an eager want in the other person.

The fundamental lesson here is to pause and ask ourselves, “How can I make this person want to do it?” Before speaking, consider the situation from the other person’s perspective, finding reasons that align with their interests and desires. This approach not only improves our persuasive abilities but also fosters better understanding and connection with others.